Woman Oversteps Boundaries as an Aunt, Making Her Pregnant Sister-in-law Uncomfortable With Obsessive Behavior Surrounding the Baby: ‘I’m going to steal the baby and never let her go’

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    r/TrueOffMyChest ⚫ 17 veronicandreea I don't want to let my SIL near my newborn
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    Currently in my third trimester. and I will probably give birth in the next few weeks. For background my SIL lives in another country and has become slightly obsessed with my pregnancy. Since becoming pregnant (which happened very quickly) she has also decided she wanted to try harder to become
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    pregnant but unsuccessful...she also had a pregnancy when she was young but eventually gave her daughter to be adopted but always regretted it and that's why she has been trying for years to have a baby but with no luck.
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    She keeps sending me videos and pictures of baby clothes with messages or quotes on them such as " if mummy says no, auntie will say yes", "only an auntie can offer you hugs and kisses like a mother" or " I love my auntie more" She has also made multiple comments and autoinvited herself to be in the
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    labour room when I haven't even discussed this with her. SIL expressed that she will be flying and be there on the first day I give birth to see my newborn and stay with me for a while to help when I have once again not discussed this with her and hinted every time that will not be necessary because I need to rest..
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    I have explained to her that will not happen unfortunately as I have already decided my birthing partners are my husband and my mother and that I do not wish to be bothered for the first week or two after I give birth as this will be a transition for me and I wish to be in my own bubble with my newborn daughter and with my
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    husband. My husband also told her no and explained but she ignored our wishes on multiple occasions
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    She also makes "jokey" comments to my MIL such as "I'm so excited to meet her daughter, that I could come to the hospital and steal her away from her and never let her go". Even my MIL has told SIL to stop this and that she will not be allowed to visit so soon and she can visit after week or two and to leave us alone
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    I feel like SIL is trying to undermine me and outshine my role as a FTM and I'm scared that when she will eventually visit, she will not listen to any of my rules thus I do not wish for her to be close to my newborn as she gives off weird and obsessive vibes
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    Now because I am so close to giving birth both me and my husband were talking to her over video call and she started making other jokes such as "ah why don't you make her a passport (country SIL resides)" or " I will take her for the whole summer"
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    Because she didn't understand our boundaries once again and didn't respect our wishes, I decided to send her a message after we ended the call and explain to her that all the things she says "as a joke” are inappropriate and she needs to stop now and that she needs to understand that I AM the mother
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    and she is just the auntie. Nothing else was said. I even asked my husband if the message was ok which he agreed
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    She proceeded to send a 4 min voice note raising her voice saying "I knew this would happen and that you won't allow me to be an auntie and that they were just jokes" and that she doesn't see anything wrong with the jokes she made. she also said so what, when your daughter grows up, I won't be able to ask
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    her to come spend time with her auntie for a week or two?"
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    I responded by saying no, because you need to ask for my permission and my husband's first and when she is an adult she can go on what we holiday she wants. Until then, I don't feel comfortable leaving my child with her for so many weeks. I explained to her she needs to understand her role and to not overstep
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    She proceeded to say that she feels like she doesn't fit into our lives anymore and that she won't bother us ever again and that she won't fly to see us anymore and that she can never please me. My husband said to her that nobody said you won't be part of our daughters life and that we just asked for her to stop with the
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    asked for her to stop with the inappropriate jokes and understand that we want at least a week to ourselves to adapt and recover and she come can visit after things settled
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    I told her to stop with the self pity party and victimisation behaviour because I don't really care and all I asked was simple and straight to the point. Of course she is now giving the silent treatment but that's her loss not mine
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    I'm sorry for the long rant but I really needed to get this off my chest as it's been making my mind go in circles and it's the last thing I needed
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    MizzyvonMuffling • 17h ago She's acting nuts... she's an aunt and you were right to put her in her place. She's totally gone overboard with the auntie- . You and your husband did the right thing, now she has to adapt or stay away.
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    WomanInQuestion • 17h ago She's not trying to outshine you with your baby. She's trying to replace you. Her "joke" of taking the baby and never giving her back isn't as harmless as you think.
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    SmileHot8087 • 15h ago The entire read I was thinking oh my goodness she's gonna kill this poor woman and steal her child. I don't think the SIL knows how unsafe and unstable she's become over the years, but I do believe she needs some real therapy.
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    I really think it's best she's so far from yall but I'd definitely have your parents in law keep an eye on her bc yall will look up and see her on dateline or something or heck even a Lifetime movie... but seriously, yall keep safe.
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    Good luck and well wishes. Congratulations on the growing family!!
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    Full_Gear5185 • 17h ago The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world

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